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Local Guides
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CAMBRIDGE BEAT
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by Michael Cahill
MAY 28 – JUNE 3, 2009 |
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Beat Me Please
It’s Thursday morning and I am curled up in the fetal position on
the floor of my basement. All of the light and warmth in my world
had vanished. Well, obviously the basement floor is cold, and the
light isn’t working. I should fix that. I meant to, but I had started
cleaning and raking the gravel in my Zen garden, and that takes
forever,…ummm, yes where was I ? Oh right; hey, where the hell
is my Worldbeat?
Fast Track to Nowhere
On due consideration I think it is incumbent upon myself, as a
responsible columnist, (insert laugh track here) to eat my words. I
was wrong. The proposed Light Rail Transit system is a stupid
idea, and will be a colossal failure. I apologize to the thousands
of loyal Echo readers who rely on me to explain the troublesome
reality that intrudes upon their lives.
I said two years ago that the LRT system will never be built,
and that Go Transit will never come to Cambridge. I stand by that
statement. Why, why, why? I think I hear some of you asking why.
First, the LRT system uses street cars. Street cars are subject to
the same traffic, weather, and construction delays that affect bus
schedules. Even worse, street cars cannot detour from their fixed
routes. Second, Grand River Transit is currently unable to operate
the existing service to any acceptable standard.
The third, and most important reason is simple. The majority
of K–W citizens don’t want it. Some who oppose it have
reasonable arguments, but most of the opposition comes from
people who are too cheap and short sighted to see past next
Tuesday.
Our local politicians, and the affluent middle classes don’t
give a shit about public transit. I don’t either.
Cambridge Blues Haiku
Jobs vanish like snow.
Machine tools rest in shrink wrap.
Crates and dreams go south.
Light rail promise fails.
Summer rain on my face, again
my bus is late.
The water was still
You were not there to see the
koi when they stirred.
It is dark and cold
My library book is late
She refuses my card.
Wow, how much fun was that? Really, try it sometime. It’s
easy: first line is five syllables, then seven syllables, and then five
syllables. Then, when you observe or experience something tragic
or beautiful, condense it into the awesome symmetrical
minimalist structure of haiku. When you have done that, send
your results to the Rant Line. Our operators are standing by.
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