HOME
COVER STORY
CALENDAR
SHOWTIMES
DINING GUIDE

NEWS
MUSIC
FILM
BOOKS
THEATRE
ART

CLASSIFIEDS
PERSONALS

CONTACT
FEEDBACK
ADVERTISE

Savage Love

By Dan Savage

I’m 16 and gay. I recently got into an argument with my parents
over whether HIV is spread by saliva or if you can be infected
during oral sex. I thought that you were safe kissing and that it’s
okay to have oral sex, but that you need to use condoms for anal
sex. My parents disagree and I found mixed answers searching
online. I trust you, though—what do you say?
– Good Gay Boy

You trust me, GGB, but your parents probably wouldn’t. And
the whole point of this exchange is getting you the info/ammo
you need to set your parents at ease/shoot down their arguments,
right? So I’m going to step aside and let some HIV prevention pros
have a crack at your questions. Think of this column as a sex–ed
gangbang I’ve arranged just for you—but, um, don’t describe it to
your parents that way.
“To be exposed to HIV, you would have to come in contact
with someone who is HIV–positive and a fluid—semen, vaginal
secretions, blood—that can transmit HIV,” says Krishna Stone,
assistant director of community relations at Gay Men’s Health
Crisis in New York City. “And there would also need to be a point
of entry—unprotected vaginal or anal sex without condoms,” that
would bring the virus into contact with mucous membranes that
could absorb it.
Stone makes a great point: You can’t be exposed to HIV
unless you’re having sex with someone who has HIV. The AIDS
virus isn’t fire and gay men aren’t twigs; it doesn’t matter how
vigorously you rub us against each other, we’re not going to
suddenly burst into HIV. If you’re having sex—safe sex—with
someone who’s HIV–negative like you, GGB, you have nothing to
worry about on the HIV front. Well, except for your boyfriend’s
truthfulness and any changes to his HIV status since his last test—
which is why you should be having safe sex regardless, even if
you think you’re both negative.
But let’s say you’re not with just one guy. Let’s say you’re

Page 1/...Page 2

    
Email Story
    
Print Story

.......................

previous savage love...