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Rants

By AA_notapplicable

MAY 1
Thanks for response to the atheist question originating April 20
with a follow–up on April 25. Yes, you are absolutely right. I
missed your point about free speech, so I would like to say, if
they’re so ignorant because they lack scientific method in their
reasoning, and of course they can say whatever they want. Thank
you.

No, no, no: I said how do you know if you are blessed. I guess I
should pronunciate better and more clearly. Thank you.

Hey, this is my first rant. There’s some guy going around the K–W
crapping, not in the toilet, but around the toilet.

This is to the person who says cigarette smoking is such a vile,
cheap habit. Don’t you have…?

This is for the person who can’t spend 20 extra dollars just to buy
Canadian. My dad is going to lose his job in a couple months
because people can’t stop buying foreign cars. If he can’t spend
the extra 20 dollars for a fuckin’ toaster oven...

This in response to the person who wrote ‘why are pitbulls
banned and pedophiles are not?’ That’s the dumbest shit that I’ve
ever read; pedophiles are banned, that's why it’s illegal, you
dumb fuck.

MAY 2
Just want to give you some feedback in regards to the rants. We
look forward to it at work, we actually get it and pass it around
and it is a good team builder. The first rant being with make–up
sex. Why does make–up sex have to be so damn good? You break
up with someone for obvious reasons, whether it’s amicable or
not, there’s a breakup and then somehow and some way you end
up having make–up sex and the vicious cycle starts over again.
My second rant is with that sicko over in Austria that kept his
daughter locked in a secret compartment or basement for the
past 24 years. It was an awful incestuous relationship, and as a
result produced seven children. So the sicko, not only did he lock
his daughter up in the basement and have sex with her, but
together the two of them had seven children. That poor girl! It
horrifies me. I think she was locked away when she was 11. And
then 24 years later and they finally figured things out. It makes
you sit back and wonder, what the heck goes on in the world that
we don’t know about? So God bless all those people that are
having the horrible things done to them.

I’m ranting in response to two rants. The first one being that one
of the candidates for U.S. president has two of the same names as
the biggest enemies of the U.S. You’re not a conspiracy theorist,
no, you’re a fucking moron because you’re thinking Osama, not
Obama, idiot. The second one is about bus etiquette. Yes, I agree,
a lot of people on the buses are idiots and need to be taught how
to ride the bus and be courteous to other people.

Mexico, what’s going on with Mexico? They are either murdering
you in the streets or they are throwing you into jail. I would
rather go to Cuba.

What’s with the Kitchener thieves? They steal my brand new bike
and leave the crappy old bike. Thanks, but no thanks.

What kind of fucked up week is this? Nothing’s gone smoothly. It
feels like Tuesday even though it’s Friday. My folks can’t decide if
they want to go out or drive me batshit. My girl’s making me
batshit. Frankly, I need to climb the Alps and clear my head for a
week.

This is to the movie theatres: I know you have to raise your snack
prices because people are sitting at home and downloading the
movie, but people are sitting at home and downloading the movie
because you raised your snack prices too high.

This is about condoms and the people who leave them lying on
the ground. It’s disgusting. Why can’t you just throw them in the
garbage?

Why do prostitutes always have to have something in their
mouths? Cocks, pipes, cigarettes?

I’d like to rant about the recyclables. I take so much time to sort
mine and they just leave them at the curb.
MAY 3
You know what disgusts me? Rich people who masquerade
around, being inhumane. The type that don’t find attorneys to
help the underprivileged, unfortunate and consider them such
insidious disease that they feel they should not be able to
procreate.

Contrary to what a lot of people think about Paul Bernardo, I
don’t believe he should have been killed. I believe he should be
castrated with a rusty knife and then splashed with iodine.

Faster, faster, faster. Speed, speed, speed. Those German
automobile makers are really sick in the head. It’s fucking
ridiculous. [Ed. – Hang on. What excitement have we seen from an
American automaker in the last 10 years? At least the Germans
are willing to create a car with a responsive suspension, let alone
an auto with decent build quality. Even been in a Cobalt? If so,
you know exactly what I’m talking about. Plastic everywhere.]

Why do people constantly want to insist that my goddaughter is a
boy when she is wearing pink flowery dresses? Explain to me how
you would think that a boy is wearing pink when boys wear blue.
[Ed. – con·vo·lut·ed, adj. Of an argument or sentence that is
complex and difficult to understand.]

Maybe Albert should go to Tibet and be happy and free.

This is for the guy ranting about the Montreal people destroying
their own city. Great rant, but did you have a book of swear words
out, or are you just a dumb bugger?

MAY 4
What is with the dumbass bus drivers in the city? Just because
cars have to give them the right of way, does that mean they have
the right to force a cyclist into a parked car? I don’t think so.
Sheesh.

There are a few things that need to be said about the gas prices.
First of all you people that bought SUVs and minivans that don’t
need them are fools. Everyone is complaining about the prices,
but nobody is doing anything about it. Unless the prices go high
we are never going to drive Smart cars, we will just keep driving
the polluting mobiles. Let’s see if the government will step up
and do something about it.

The colour pink corrupts young minds.

You know you gotta love this Canadian Government we have, I
don’t even see it as a government, I see it as organized crime and
they are no different than the Mafia.
This is to the Silverstein show: Thanks for saying licensed and
only serving Red Bulls. Good dry show.

MAY 5
My kitten is in heat. She is only two months old and has been
screwing a mongrel. What does the Catholic Church have to say
about that? I want to see my kitten in heaven.

I am an overeducated, multitalented, highly skilled female and
can’t get a shitty job – for those reasons.

Dear Daddy, I know your mother told you that since I’m 29 and
single it means that I am ‘on the shelf’. Do you want me to start
fucking bastards with money and become miserable? I’m also sick
of making you dinner and cleaning up after you. Maybe that’s why
I’m single; I have the biggest baby sleeping next door.

MAY 6
South African politics are cranked. Don’t believe the newspapers.
There are e–mails going around about what is really happening
there. Please forward them to create awareness – it’s turning into
Zimbabwe.

Baking your own bread is a complete waste of time. Get a life.

Staple guns should be made better. That is all.

Being an alcoholic is the best.

Sarah, You vomited when you picked up Rocky’s vomit, but you
prepare raw meat like it’s shining crystal. Your farts are smelly. I
know, you can’t help yourself, can you?

MAY 7
I’ve noticed there are days where I feel completely relaxed and
carefree. These days are called the weekend. And sick days. Golly,
do I ever love nausea!

My rant is in reply to the person who doesn’t like the Rolling
Stones. Well I love the Rolling Stones. It’s the best concert, other
than the Elvis Presley concert I saw back in 1976 in Buffalo, New
York. I’ll always be a Rolling Stones fiend; they’re my number one
group. I don’t really care for The Beatles. The only album I liked
by The Beatles was The Beatles Again in 1970 with “Hey Jude”.

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