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Culture Pop
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by Ryan Farkas
July 15 - 21, 2010 |
Tracy Morgan Knows What’s Up
“Dress every day like you gonna get murdered in those clothes.” –Tracy Morgan
Braveheart goes Batshit
If there was any justice in the world, the ability to record people at will would be one of the first things I’d put on the list. People say and do really stupid things and most times, those things cause rifts everywhere. Belittling employees, husband/wife explosions, friends talking behind each others’ backs, secret political back–row deals, crime sprees, extortion, the list looks like an episode of “The Hills”.
And then there’s Hollywood. The Great American Dream. Thousands flock here for their chance to make it. There is no seedier underbelly than that of the Hollywood spotlight.
Cue the phone calls. The quotables from Mad Max border on the unprintable. The topics range from rape, misogyny, good old–fashioned backyard burials, racism on nearly all levels possible and the promise of enslavement. It’s funny, this was a guy who used to be something. A star that didn’t fall into the typical Hollywood trappings (drugs, scandal, an epic flame out, a quiet fall into anonymity). No, this was one of the greats. Him, Bruce Willis and Tom Cruise (until that little Scientology row) were untouchable. Now, Gibson’s agency has dropped him. He hasn’t starred in a film that was worth anything in years and now, he’s completely untouchable. Anyone have Colin Farrell's number?
The Death of The Boss
There is no man who personified a team with such a deft hand than the late George Steinbrenner. His standards were great. His expectations were greater (minus the ‘80s).
The reign of The Boss is one that will be cheered and lauded respectively. Notoriously controlling, he was powerful, influential and eventually the face of everything stamped with the trademark NY. He pioneered the Evil Empire. He defined the rules of modern ownership by overpaying for playing to create a sea of enchanting heroism. The Yankees became greater than a baseball team. They became an ideal. A focused vision for a constant future: excellence.
The halls of Yankee Stadium are no longer lined with filth. A billion and a half dollars make sure of that. Their new stadium is the absolute personification of the new Yankee tradition: if you’re good enough and have proven yourself, you’re worth the exorbitant sum of money to be here, draped in the pinstripes of legends past.
The most understated notion of the Yankees is their team’s underlying credo. No one is above anyone. We dress the same. We look the same. No sideburns. There is no predominant star. We are the New York Yankees and our collective will kick the shit out of you, regardless of how much heart you have. We don’t need heart. We have refined skill. We are the embodiment of a machine. If you give us an inch, we’ll take every dream you had and crush it beneath our massive payroll. Why? Because winning is the most important thing. This is why Steinbrenner was a dick. Everyone wanted his status. They wanted his sandbox. They might have hated being in his sandbox when he kicked up a sandstorm (as quoted by Lou Pinella, “George is a great guy, unless you have to work for him,”), but they respected the space nonetheless. They had to. He saved the Yankees and transformed them into a global vision of America. For good and bad, the man deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Get him a plaque in Monument Park. Retire that turtleneck.
A Single Sentence On LBJ
Never has a loved–by–everyone superstar been so revered at 9 pm and so reviled by 10 pm.
Someone Broke The Price Is Right
That man’s name is not Drew Carey. Although, that could be contested (without any argument from yours truly), the true man responsible is Terry Kniess. You see, Terry loved the show. He also realized that TPIR is based on numbers, numbers that are sometimes repeated. TPIR doesn’t simply buy one of each product. This is why some prices are repeated and why TPIR had to change the way they do business.
Terry Kniess won the first round of guessing by getting the answer exactly right, gaining him a cool $500. The next round was a wash because he thought a Mac was worth more than two exercise bikes. But the final round, the mighty Showcase, was where he created the legend. He guessed his showcase perfectly. On the dot. It’s never been done in the history of the show. Drew Carey could do nothing other than announce Kniess had won in his trademark, unenthusiastic monotone. Carey sounded defeated. He didn’t care. The producer reportedly cornered Kniess after the taping and told him to never return because he’d ruined the show for everyone.
The moral? It's only cheating if you get caught. Nowadays, they vary the prices with hidden tactics (chrome rims on cars, slightly different dinette sets, etc.) It’s unfortunate that the show has become more of a crapshoot than a reward to long–time viewers. It’s also a shame that Drew Carey shits all over the majesty that Bob Barker created every day at 11 am.
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